The Date Kit Debates
We begin by pitting our elite Ask a Lady columnist against rump-ranging upstart, Dr. Fag. Presented with a sampling of the thorny questions we deal with daily here at DK, in every case our co-ed three-person panel selected the most advisable course of action for you, our reader. We have preserved both answers in the interests of institutional transparency.
First Question:
I’ve realized recently that I’ve contracted a curable STD. There are seven men who I could have received it from and six that I could have transmitted it to. What is my best course of action for preserving the sexiness of these relationships while protecting the health of all concerned?
Dr. Fag: Find the dudes’ current girlfriends, tell them, and have them deal with it.
Lady: Don’t say anything. Get the std fixed. Dump all of them, find new man.
We liked: Dr Fag
Question Two:
Should I dump a Lady via text message?
Dr. F: Only if you’re sure you’ll never bump into her at Union Pool. And NEVER want to sleep with her again. Cad.
L: if you want to be a total asshole, then yes, dump her by text (aka – if you are the type of dude that is afraid of your own dick). Otherwise, make a courtesy call. Tell her “it’s not you, it’s me”.
Point to: Lady
Question #3:
Is it okay to booty call someone in the middle of the night after you just met them?
Dr. F: Fuck no. You might have to pay for a drink or two if you wait until the morning to call, but at least you’ll have a shot to sleep with them at all.
L: first, you ask yourself “am I horny?” then, you ask yourself “do I have dignity/do I care how other people perceive me?” if the answer to the first question is “yes”, and the answer to the second question is “no”, then absolutely booty call.
This one goes to the Fag
Q. 4:
What do you do if a Lady kicks you out in the middle of the night?
Dr. F: You leave her a tray of fucking muffins outside the door in the morning you fucking bastard, because no matter what you say, you were wrong.
L: take a cab, get a hot slice, go home.
Lady.
Question 5:
How do you leave a Lady gracefully in the middle of the night?
Dr. F: With a million tiny kisses and a promise of activities within three days.
L: you say, in the most endearing and honest way possible “girl, you got a phat ass, but I gotta sleep in my own bed tonite”
The Fag gets a point
Query 6 (Final??):
How do you make out with a Lady who’s a friend?
Dr. F: Booze is all you really need, but moonlight and water don’t hurt.
L: git thm drnk.
The Lady takes it, we have a tie!
SUDDEN DEATH!!!!:
I’ve been seeing someone in a non-exclusive, non-committed “relationship” for several months. Now I want to tap her roommate.
Fag says: Do them both. Bitches love cock.
Lady says: Duh. Threesome.
IT’S A TIE!
