December 2007
19 posts
Listen To Me
Some restaurants have a nice, candlelit atmosphere while others provide entertainment and excitement. Depending on the restaurant you choose you can create a romantic date or a fun date. Don’t get drunk. Maybe eventually she’ll want to hear about your mother who verbally abused you as a child, but NOT on the first date. Really, she’ll be more impressed if you focus your attention...
Missed Connections Repost: My little Banana - w4m
I miss you. I miss you tons. My body’s been aching for you. I want to know if I can still hug you like you’re mine. I hope you won’t delete me from your life. My body doesn’t want anyone else… neither does my heart. What should I do? Yours truly, Bananamama aka ‘Mrs. Foster’
Missed Connections Repost: You're Getting Fat -...
If our friends’ pictures of you are any indication, you’re getting fat. Also, get some new glasses. I haven’t drunkenly emailed you in a long time, so I have no way of knowing if you’re well, employed, etc. Usually, your curt-ass 7-days-later reply lets me know how awesome you’re doing without me and how much you’ve moved on. Well, you can munch a dick,...
Proven; women only love your buxx →
Missive Bonding
I’m not in high school, so I may be stepping outside the limits of my expertise to defend the lasting practicality of the “love note” in an era when the quickest way to someone’s heart is through port 22. I’m talking about the kind of correspondence that’s scribbled on a piece of scrap paper or cardboard without self-examination or regard for the follies of subtext and delivered...
We're growing...
Please welcome Death into the Kit Club.
Crushed: Vol. 1
just…wow!
American beauty? (provided solely out of academic... →
“Searching for Mister Right” by the...
Ask a Lady: Snap Judgment
I’m with my girlfriend and want to go back for seconds, but realize I’ve used my last condom. Is it a bad idea to use it again? Lady: I mean, that’s a one way ticket to a UTI for a girl If you’ve already done it, then consider sending her a bulk package of cranberry supplements (link) but, if i were in the sitch, i would probably just give you a blow job
Winter Pyre: Travels by Foot and Your Devious...
Back to it. Remember, this song has been playing for the past 15 minutes. The ride from here into the hills is long and there’s traffic. This gives you plenty of time to sit and think about your sins, but those won’t matter soon; you rest your eyes. When the coach pulls up on the side of the road, your watch reads 4:43 PM (an hour fast). Up here the foliage isn’t so robust; winter has arrived,...
“Talk Like Sex” by Kool G Rap & DJ...
The Date Kit Debates
We begin by pitting our elite Ask a Lady columnist against rump-ranging upstart, Dr. Fag. Presented with a sampling of the thorny questions we deal with daily here at DK, in every case our co-ed three-person panel selected the most advisable course of action for you, our reader. We have preserved both answers in the interests of institutional transparency. First Question: I’ve realized...
i have a new girlfriend! pt. 2
do you know what my new girlfriend just said on instant messeger? “sometimes sleeping feels so arbitary.” what a weird girl, right? so, things are going pretty well, i think, well to the point that i can probably stop calling her by her name and start calling her all kinds of cool and really intimate nicknames (nb: some people call these “pet names”). but you know it can be...